Do you ever feel like you are being attacked by other people? Like when it seems like the people around you are being tested, but you are the one that feels like you need to fight? Does that make sense? If not, let me share a little example with you.
My kids were going through a tough time, but I don’t think they are the real ones being tested. I feel like the testing is for me because I am the one who has to protect my kids, you know?! My oldest was having some sort emotional crisis, but instead of dismissing it, I had to be there for her and make sure she feels comfortable with sharing what she was going through with me. I don’t want her to think that what she is going through isn’t important because once she gets that in her head, it’s over.
Thankfully she shares a lot with me, but man, am I being drained trying to help her understand she just has a lot going on. Her 16th birthday is coming up next month and we are planning a big shindig for her. I mean, bells and whistles, fancy dresses, 11 kids, and all that. She even has a choreographer coming every week to teach her and the other kids a dance routine.
Along with that, she is a high school teenager who’s hormones are all over that place. Being that she is recovering from a concussion, she doesn’t have her outlet like she normally does. I think her not playing soccer right now is not allowing her to focus like she was when she had practice 2-3 days a week with games on the weekends.
I had to think about what was best for my daughter. Seeing how distraught she was, and realizing what I was saying to her wasn’t registering, I began to cry out to God. I needed help with how to help my daughter feel like a “normal” teenager if that is even something I wanted to happen. I had to help her come to terms with when she feels like that, she needs to pray.
One afternoon, I was sharing how I was feeling with the Lord, and the thought to find her training came into my head. I quickly texted someone she enjoyed training with in the past, and he had us scheduled for a session same day. To my surprise, she had an awesome time.
It was like watching her play soccer when she was younger all over again. She was smiling, she was happy, and her trainer was impressed, but also saw how out of shape she was because she hasn’t played in a while.
I felt a sense of relief. This was what she needed. When he came over to talk to me after her session, he said we can do this once or twice a week. To my surprise, Kaylah said twice.
Do you know how happy I was to hear her say that!? God was quick with that one. I have noticed a change, and see her being more open, smiling, having conversations with her friends around me, and asking my opinion on things when it comes to situations she is dealing with.
Ain’t God good?! I mean, something so simple as getting her into soccer training has totally changed her behavior. She needed an outlet. I told my husband I felt as if she was more focused when she had more going on, than when she didn’t. Crazy!!
Now, my middle daughter! God help me! I get a call from the school saying my daughter was suspended for pushing a girl. Come to find out the girl she pushed dropped her notebook on the floor and kicked it, not once, but twice.
She jokingly went up to the girl and pushed her and the girl lost her balance and hit her ear on the file cabinet. The girl went to the office and told them what happened and my daughter got suspended.
How Sway?! I was so MAD hearing that knowing that this wasn’t a fair consequence for my daughter. The suspension went from being possibly 1 day, to 3 days, to 5 days based on the severity of the injury, so they say.
I was told the girl had a cauliflower ear from what happened, but when I asked to see pictures, I was denied. I wanted to see how severe she hurt the girl, to show Jada how serious the matter was, if in fact it was as serious as they made it out to be. Momma bear came out. I contacted every person I could in that school district to overturn this decision to no avail.
I had no understanding of how this was the best decision they came up with based on what happened. The good that came out of this whole ordeal, was that Jada and I had some bonding time. We hung out over those 5 days and talked about the situation, what she could have done differently, and to let her know I was on her side.
She knows she needs to keep her hands to herself. Also, even though there are going to be ill feelings between her and the other girl, she needs to act like there aren’t. She doesn’t have to go out of her way to be her friend, but she shouldn’t be rude even if she feels the urge to. We are called to love, even when we don’t want to.
God calls us to love others no matter what. Even though she didn’t feel like she was wrong in the situation, she understood that she still needs to be kind. I’d call that a win. God is always looking out for us, even when the way he is looking out for us doesn’t make sense to us.
I have to say a bond formed between me and my daughter that has brought us closer than we were before. Even though the situation wasn’t an ideal situation for us to form a bond, God saw fit that it was, and made it so.
We laughed , talked, and she shared a lot of stories with me, I mean a lot, not short stories either, lol. She even stays home more now than she used to. She still hangs out with her friends, but she does it after school and when she comes home, her and my youngest daughter are in my room watching YouTube videos together.
It really puts a smile on my face to see that. In the midst of me seeing these events that were so pleasant happen to my kids, I got a chance to see them grow through it. I don’t know what it is about seeing my kids go through things that make me go to God, but I’m really glad I did.
Only he was able to bring something beautiful out of things that started out as not so beautiful! During all this chaos that I felt I was in the middle of, I remember being in my car and could feel the Lord say:
It’s time to level up
You’ve been sitting in this position way too long Aren’t you tired
Trust me, things are going to look ugly before they look better, but they will look better.
Remember my plans for you are good. It’s just the process.
It only gets better from here
I’ve got you, always have, always will
Keep your head up and know I’m in control
We know that in the midst of adversity, God is still on our side fighting for us behind the scenes. What is meant to harm us, always ends up working out for our good.