Faith

Good & Loved

October 19, 2021

I’m D’ondra.
“I'm a Jesus loving, coffee drinking, romance reading, woodworker."
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I woke up this morning feeling upset about a situation that happened

in my family. I wanted to talk to God about it,

but I was so upset that I felt like I couldn’t go to Him because of how I was feeling. I was mad,

angry, upset, frustrated, and most of all confused about how this situation was handled.

I tried for the life of me to understand, but still came up short.  I didn’t feel like I was able to be in

a good enough place to pour my heart out to the Lord, so I just cried until I

cry anymore.  Then, I cried some more.  I still don’t feel like I’m done crying, but at least I’m able

to write about it.  

I don’t like this feeling at all. I want to move past it, but the way my mind works, I have

to get some understanding before I’m able to let it go, so I replay it over and over and over in my

mind until I’m able to figure out where I went wrong. The thing is, I don’t think I was wrong and

sure the other person doesn’t either.

But, even though I’m trying

to understand the m, I don’t get the feeling they are trying to understand me, and that’s the part

that hurts the most.

Trying to get someone to understand you when all they want to do is make you see their

point is frustrating.

Communication isn’t supposed to be about who is right, it’s trying to understand where

the other person is coming from.

I am the type of person who listens to understand, not listen to rebuttal. That’s why I ask, does that

make sense? Or do you understand what I mean? Because if you don’t, let me try to explain it in a

way that you do understand.

Even as I sit here, trying to write about it my heart hurts. I’m still upset and it’s been a few days. I

want to be over it, but I don’t know how to let it go.

My mind can’t see past the hurt that I feel and I know I shouldn’t hold on to it.

I’ve seen too many posts that say to be strong enough to forgive without hearing an apology.

Or that it takes a strong person to forgive and let go of hurt.

I do agree with those statements, but I still need to process what happened to see where I went

wrong or to ask the Lord what am I supposed to learn from this situation.  

Part of me isn’t even looking for an apology, even though it would be nice for them to acknowledge

what they did, I honestly don’t think I will get one, so I’m not looking for it.  I am really just hurt

by the disrespect I received as I was trying to help them understand the situation. 

When I start to replay the situation in my head, a song comes to mind.  Good and Loved by Travis

Greene.  The words to the song are:

Through the chaos, I will be your joy

When you’re finished, I have so much more

In the waiting, I’m an open door

Stand still and know, I am your Lord

They’ll be times when you’re up

And times when you’re down

I’m never too far

Just look around and you’ll find Me

I’m by your side, arms open wide

I am good, you are loved

Just reading those words brings tears my eyes In all the chaos that is around me, God is

still good and I am still loved by Him. After spinning my wheels and telling Him how I feel, he

says to me:

Everything about me is good
I

I will never steer you in the wrong direction

When you think things aren’t good, they are always working for your good

Shift your focus when you find yourself thinking otherwise

It’s never about what you’re going through

It’s about you turning to me to help you navigate what is going on around you

It’s a process

All of it is used to get you to where I’m taking you

Stop thinking you can only come to me when you’re having a difficult time

Just because you’re going through a trial doesn’t mean that’s the only time I show up

I’m in the midst of it all

Things don’t always change overnight and

a lot of times they get worse before they get better

Just know that they will get better

Remember who you’re fighting…

It’s never been about the person

Look past who it is and remember what it is

It’s trying to get you off track

Use your sword
I’ve already equipped you with it

Put it to work and stop trying to fight it without your armor

You will win

It’s never been about you

It’s been about what’s inside of you

The enemy is trying to keep you distracted from what you’re supposed to do

In all this going in circles about how to handle a situation that shouldn’t have had my focus, the

is me distracted. Instead of giving it to God and allowing Him to refine me,

I’ve been holding on to it.

He’s still working on me y’all. I know my situation will get better. I just need to remember that

being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you (and me) will

complete it. (Phil 1:6)


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