This is one of the post I have been dreading to write. But, it’s been on my heart for a while so I
know it needs to be shared. What do you do when you feel lonely?
My husband is in the Air Force, and it causes him to be gone for days, sometimes weeks and
months at a time. I’m really happy that he found something that he enjoys doing. At his last job,
he was really unhappy. But, when he is gone, I feel lonely.
He has been able to travel around the world. The places I’ve dreamed of seeing, he’s been, without
me. He’s been to Hawaii, Alaska, London, Paris, Germany, Japan, Spain, Guam and in a few
weeks, he will be going to Greece, Portugal and another part of Spain.
Again, I’m happy for him, really I am, but there’s a part of me that is a little jealous of my husband
and his “vacations.” Yes, I know he’s “working,” but it doesn’t really feel like he is. Especially, when
he shows the places he’s been, and how much fun he’s having. I’m sitting at home being a mom, a
chauffeur, a cook, and everything else in between.
I promise I’m not trying to make myself sound pitiful, but I get a little lonely when he’s gone. My
husband is my best friend. We’ve shared pretty much the majority of our lives together. When he
is away, I feel an emptiness that makes me sad.
I like to look like I can handle anything. Like, I’m this superwoman who doesn’t let things like
this bother me. I want to show people that I am strong and “I don’t need no man to help me,” but
I hate it when he’s gone. It sucks. It’s like a part of me has left when he leaves, and I feel it.
I feel a weight on my shoulders. My kids feel it too, especially my youngest, Eryn. She always tells
me how much she misses her daddy. My oldest, Kaylah, and my middle daughter, Jada, always ask
when he’s coming home, and that just adds to the pressure I already feel.
One day, I was in my car listening to Anthony Brown’s song, Never Alone. I literally started
balling, and it’s not even a slow song. It’s a really upbeat happy song. Listening to the words
somehow made me feel like they were telling me about what was going on inside my heart. I was
really missing my husband and I literally felt like I had no one…
The song says:
I will be with you
Be with you always
Even until the end of time
You are never alone
Do I think that was a coincidence, not in the slightest. God can use any situation to get our at
tention. He did the same thing in this post. Every thing we face is to get us to look to Him.
The words of the song was just the release I needed to remember that no matter how I feel, the
Lord is always with me. Just because I feel alone, does’t mean I am. The Lord allowed me to hear
and focus on those words and I was able to release the feeling of loneliness that came over me.
What I came to realize is, I wasn’t jealous of my husband, I was lonely because he was gone. God
allowed me to get to the root of the problem, and helped me to know it’s ok to feel alone, but don’t
let that grow into bitterness or anger because he is away.
Instead of focusing on when I feel lonely when my husband is away, I can spend some time wit
h the Father so I don’t focus on what I am missing. I can take the emptiness I feel and allow the
Lord to fill me.
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