Choosing to be happy with things around me seems to be making me not so happy, which is something I struggled with. I was able to go to Portland this past week and boy did I need to. I was starting to feel overwhelmed with my family, I was getting burnt out as a mom, and I was being short with my husband.
My 6-year-old daughter, Eryn, kept asking me why I kept yelling, which stung every time she said that to me. My husband, Aaron, kept asking me what was wrong, and I gave the answer “nothing” when in fact he knew there was something wrong.
I was just starting to feel like I needed to get away and be by myself. I headed to Portland, don’t know why I went there but wanted to go somewhere I’ve never been. I stayed at an Airbnb and was shocked at how nice and centrally located it was.
I was able to walk pretty much anywhere I wanted to go and it was awesome, relaxing, and just nice to only have to worry about myself. The house I stayed in didn’t have a television, so at night, I pretty much played my gospel music and planned out what I was going to do the next day.
It was exactly what I needed. I woke up one morning to the Lord telling me “don’t compare yourself.” I thought about that for a moment as I turned over and thought, man…is that what I’m doing?!
I know I’d like to think I don’t but, I’m guessing if He’s telling me that, it must be for a reason. I thought about that the whole train ride home and was going to write about that, but then when I got home, I felt like I was going right back into the funk I had before I left. I got a phone call from my ever-so-loving husband about what he needed me to do with the kids that day and
I was like, are you serious?! I just got home 2 hours ago, and you’re already telling me to get back to work!! That hurt my feelings. My time away, to get refreshed was immediately taken away. I could feel myself getting angry again. Resentment was trying to ease its way back in.
I could feel the animosity trying to make me say things I would later regret. Instead of “going off,” I asked the Lord to help me. I said, “God, look at this. I just got home. Aaron didn’t ask how I was, how my trip was, what I did, nothing…he just told me what he needed me to do because he couldn’t do it because he was working. How do I not let this affect me?!”
The Lord replied, “It’s a choice!” I was like, what do you mean?! He said, “you can choose to be upset, or you can not let that bother you, and move forward.” I asked how was I not supposed to let it bother me when it does. He said, “you know how when you meet a stranger and you smile at them?!
You know how when someone you don’t know asks you a question and you answer them nicely, without an attitude?! You know when you’re introduced to a person for the first time, how likable you are?! You CHOOSE to act that way! Life is all about choices. ”After I thought about it,
I had a duh moment…bopped myself on the forehead, could have had a V8 moment. Yeah! Every day I make choices. Some I like, some I don’t, but I had to choose. No one chose for me. I can either choose to have an attitude or I can choose to be happy, joyful, grateful, thankful, and positive with every choice I make. I mean, I could be worse off, but I’m not.
God has been too good to me for me to be in a funk over what someone said to me. People are going to say things to me that I may not agree with, but I don’t have to let what they say to me change how I feel or how I act. Later that day I went to my sister’s birthday brunch.
I was still in my mood when I got there so I figured I wouldn’t say much because I didn’t want to ruin her event. She introduced me to some people and I immediately smiled at them. I was asked a question, and I answered it in a pleasant way. I even laughed at a joke that was made at the table. I could hear the Lord say, “See! You are choosing to have a good time.” I knew that when I got home, I had to act the same way, even if I didn’t want to.
My husband and my kids deserve the same me when I am away from them, as when I’m at home. I also, have to remember I set the tone in my home. If I make my home peaceful, it will be peaceful. If I make it stressful, it will be stressful. Again, it’s my choice.
So, I will choose to have a home where I am not wanting to get away, but a home I enjoy. I will be grateful for this part of my journey until the Lord takes me on a different path. What are some ways you can choose to be happy?
Love this story. Its the way to be but some days are difficult. I like your stoy and what you are doing with your life and business. My journey is sorta the same. So when I read this I was like hmmm someone is speaking to me and I need to pay attention. God has some funny ways to talk to us sometimes we just have know and be willing to open our eyes hearts an minds and watch listen learn and act accordingly to what the message was about.
Good luck with everything it appears you are on the right path with all you have done and are doing with your business. I like it nice website pics all user friendly no pop ups uhg those drive me away lol