A few weeks ago, me and my family had the pleasure of going to Universal Studios. We had a
really good time. My mother in law drove with the kids and me and my husband drove with my
oldest daughter. It was a really relaxing trip. Crazy right?!
The kids had their room with my mother in law in a suite and me and hubby had our own room.
It was great! Talk about peace and quiet. Except for the occa
sional, “babe, you see that,” from my husband every now and then when I was dozing off to sleep.
After checking into the hotel and relaxing for a bit, we decided to hit up the mall. Hubby is a huge
Harry Potter fan and wanted shirts to wear to the park… he’s such a child at heart.
On our way to the park, another Jonathan McReynolds song came on.
It’s called Lover of My Soul.
The chorus says:
But what I lack
You are full of
Where I’m broken
You are whole
What I’m doubting
You are sure of
So I’ll trust the lover
Lover of my soul
Guess what happened? Yes, the Lord started to speaking to me on vacation…lol! He says:
Do you trust me?
Yes, I trust you
Then why do you doubt what I tell you
Because I’m afraid that I won’t live up to Your expectations
I’m afraid that the next task
You give me will come with harder things to accomplish and I won’t know how to do it on my own
I’m just getting the hang of the task You just gave me
I want to feel confident in doing what You are giving me to do
Everything I will give you to do has already been put inside of you
Why do you think you are getting the hang of recording and editing videos
Why do you think you know how to upload audio files for podcast
No one taught you, you learned on your own
Nothing I give you to do will require you to learn a new trade, yes, it will make you uncomfortable,
but that comes with the territory
You have to allow me to stretch you in ways like never before in order to reach your full potential
Everything I have for you to do requires you to trust Me
It requires you to allow Me to take the lead in your life
It requires complete surrender
Yes, you will feel like you don’t know how to do some things, but that just means you need to ask
Me how to do them, it means you need to press into Me more
Don’t be afraid of what I have for you to do, embrace it and get comfortable being uncomfortable
Just because I checked out, didn’t mean He did. Just because my brain was on sleep mode, didn’t
mean the Lord wasn’t going to wake me up. He does it at 3am, so why did I think it was going to
be different because I was with my family.
To answer that question, I think it was because my mind wasn’t focused on the kids, it wasn’t
crowded with over thinking about what we were going to do and where we were going to go. I was
just going with the flow. I was in a good place to receive. I wasn’t focused on all the chaos of
everyday life.
After hearing what the Lord told me, I felt like I could breath. I felt like no matter what came my
way, I would be able to handle it, even if at the time I don’t feel adequate enough to fulfill it. He is
so calming…the peace that comes with Him comforting me is beyond describable and I am so
thankful for our talks.
I love how I can be vulnerable with Him. He pulls things out of me that I didn’t know bothered
until He asks a question. I don’t have to hide or try to act like I have it all together when we talk,
and He doesn’t think any less of me.
Remembering that I’m not doing this on my own will or by my own strength brings me back to
perspective. Zechariah 4:6 says, …Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of
hosts. It’s been God doing this. I am just a vessel.
Remembering who I belong to and who is in control totally helps take the pressure off trying to be
in a very imperfect world. I no longer have the need to look put together or try to make people see
me differently. I’m not here for them. I have an audience of One.
As long as He is proud of me, and I am doing what he asks, I’m good. Of course I’m not going to
know how to do everything by myself, so when the time comes, He’ll bring along who or what I
to accomplish the next tasks. He’s that good.
What are you doubting?! It’s time to kick it to the curb and run to the lover of our souls.
